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Flava of Love on VH1 |
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I don't even care if anyone reads this...I just need to get a lot of shit out.
Last night was the first night that I have been out in probably about a month, and well over all it was nice...because so many people were excited to see me. It made me feel good. Everyone kept touching my tummy, which was cute...it makes me feel more pregnant...if that makes any sense what so ever. I think the person I was most excited bout seeing was Mario. When I showed up, he was ecstatic, and I felt so wanted there. But besides that...there was some shitty stuff. Columbia on Fire, in my opinion, did not do so hot...I mean it does not help that david is such a douche bag. But besides the fact that he is a dick, he deserved to get his amp fucked up...because everyone told him to not put it in the back of the truck the way he did...and because he did not listen to anyone...it screwed up one of the speakers. Plus...I think if he would have played with the band in the first place...he would have made them sound even more like shit, and I am not the only one that says that. A lot of people last night kept saying that they sounded a lot better without David...just proves that he is a shitty bass player. So with all the problems there, Albert's voice sounded way wack last night...I do not know what happened to him but he sounded really bad...plus I am not even to fond of him at this point because of the shit he pulled on gil Friday night.
Which brings me to the next thing that is bothering me. I think Gil is such a great guitarist, and I am not just saying that because he is my husband. I think he is better than a lot of guitarists here in El Paso. He has so much going for him, and so much drive and ambition...and he is being held back so much. He puts up with and deals with so much shit from the band just because his priorities are a little bit different than the rest of the bands. The only people that understand is Abe and Chris. I have come to treasure their friendship so much...because they are amazing guys. Abe is like Gil's best friend and is always there for the both of us whenever we need help. Chris understands what we are going through because he himself has gone through some similar stuff. The reason why the two of them understand us, is because our life is changing drastically. We are getting married in less than two weeks and that means I am the most important person/thing in Gil's life and he is the most important person/thing in my life. We are having a baby....he is gonna be a daddy, nothing matters more to him than that. And they understand that...but no...David and Albert can't...because all they care about is themselves. I do not want sympathy, but i do want them to at least acknowledge what Gil has to say and believe in. All David cares about is himself and that is how he will always be. And Albert only cares about getting drunk and who he is gonna fuck that night. I hate it. Because Gil is always so bothered with the shit that goes on, and it frustrates him. And I think he is way to good of a guitar player to be dealing with that shit.
Another thing that is bothering me is the wedding. I am so bogged down with all of it. I am trying to finish up the center pieces, get the RSVP list done, get all the decorations together, get a hold of all the family, make sure our cake is gonna be done, and making sure we have enough food for all the guests. Gil tries as much as he can to help me, but with his working schedule being all crazy it is so hard for him to do even do half of it. So I just try to do it all...and it is stressing me out because I am so afraid that the wedding is going to come out very good. I want this wedding to be beautiful...especially after Crystal hurt my feelings and rubbed it in my face that Mark Martinez wedding was so amazing and bullshit like that. The only reason why his was so great is because he has the money. Gil and I do not. We have to money conscious about the whole thing.
One more thing...I am so sick and tired of people talking shit. It is getting so old. And if your over the age of 20 and still talking crap you need to grow the fuck up. Your an immature asshole. And if you do have shit to say about anyone...grow some balls and tell that person, or group of people in there face...do not beat around the bush. It just shows how much of a child you are.
I think I am done ranting. I feel a lot better. I am gonna try to wake Gil up in a little bit, so that we can eat lunch, or at least a late lunch. I am starving. I guess I will talk to you later, journal. <3
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mandapantalones's journal
exhausted
Meh